I figured to be a day or two from leaving the big city for weeks of island-hopping in the south, so I took advantage of the weekend by visiting the Chatuchack Market via the modern, elevated Skytrain. As was increasingly apparent, the Thais love their air-conditioning cold.

The market was massive, selling everything from sharks to furniture. I walked around for an hour, mostly in search of a scorpion on a stick so as to satisfy another dare, and my ego. I found a few street carts selling bugs – crickets or grasshoppers, worms, big roaches, and most disturbingly, little birds. Sober, and without peer pressure and a potential monetary payoff, I couldn’t bring myself to try such treats.

Seeing piles of the critters up close under the hot sun did not make the idea of eating a large, crunchy scorpion any more appealing. It did make me realize if I do find scorpions, I won’t be able to eat them without a few beers in me, and even then there’s a good chance I’ll have a hell of a time choking it down.

The heat wore on me and I decided to check out one of Bangkok’s malls. Siam Paragon was along my return Skytrain route so I hopped off and admired the majestic exterior. The lobby, with it’s multi-storey waterfalls, glass elevators, and foliage was quite a site. Further inside, luxury retail shops far out of the price ranges of most mere mortals, lined the halls.

I went to the top level, hoping Indiana Jones was still playing. I had missed it, but Steve Carrell is a favorite of mine and I opted for “Get Smart.” Did I mention the lobby of the movie theater was really cool? The ticket cost $19, which was a bit shocking, but I went with it. The saleswoman told me to pick my seat from a display of the theater layout on a flat computer monitor. I asked her which one was good, and she confidently replied “all of them.”

Ticket in hand, I walked toward the metal detector which guarded the entrance to the theaters. The usher pointed me further down though, to a separate entrance, minus a metal detector. I started to walk toward the #2 theater when a woman ushered me over to a dimly lit lounge.

The theater wasn’t opening for another ten minutes however I was free to order a cocktail. “When in Rome,” I thought, and asked for a gin and tonic. Several other people were enjoying the supplied massage chairs in the area. A few sips after the drink had arrived, I paid and was walked to my seat in the theater.

I hadn’t realized it at the time, but “Get Smart” was playing in one of four luxury Nokia theaters, thus the special treatment. The theater and screen were as big as many in the USA, yet instead of watching amidst a sea of people, it felt like I was in the private theater of a football star on an episode of MTV’s “Cribs.”

I settled into my leather seat, tapping the electronic reclining control until I was nearly horizontal. It was ultra-quiet so adjustments during the movie were a non-issue. I sipped my drink, covered myself in the supplied blanket, and rested my head on the pillow. The movie itself was cute, and I needed the good laughs it supplied. I knew the bathroom would be worth a look, so I snuck out when needed and sure enough, it was a bathroom fit for us VIP’s who need a drink before our movie and can be trusted not to carry weaponry to the mall.

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