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The Importance of Hooking Up Abroad

This is a guest post by Emily Callaghan. If you want to guest post on Go Backpacking, please read more here.

Telo in Argentina

Telo in Argentina

French guys in America.  English guys in Spain.  Spanish guys in France.  Argentinians in well, Argentina.

Traveling, among other things, is about hooking up.

Are girls sluts if they sleep around? (Don’t answer that.) Are they tramps if their repertoire includes people of other languages, countries and cultures?

Absolutely not.  In my opinion, they’re resourceful.

I should clarify what this “hooking up” business is, exactly.  Not until I was abroad did I realize that I had a PG-rated conception, and so I’m using the term as such.  Hooking up in my eyes was making out.  Anything past that was, well, something past that.  “Yeah dude, I totally hooked up with Roberto in the middle of the dance floor last night,” I told Caroline, a hostel roommate.

“You WHAT?”

Come to think of it, I’ve gotten more strange looks than I’ve deserved over the years.

I shouldn’t over-generalize. Some people are committed (maybe even faithful), celibate, or unlucky at gettin’ lucky.  And just like there are things that single or promiscuous people miss out on by not settling down with one individual, those who don’t engage in the said hooking up while traveling are missing out as well.

Hooking up, in my eyes, is learning.

Traveling, and living in hostels, is life in fast-forward.  People are constantly coming and going, which has its pluses and minuses, but knowing you have just two coinciding days with some 28-year-old Australian may make the seven year age gap less off-putting as you consider the question, “what’s the worst that can happen?” and rationalize, “I’ve got no time to waste.”

It’s the perfect opportunity for trial-and-error; a chance to do things that are far less appealing when involving a co-worker or classmate whom you’ll see come Monday. And how much about the world will you learn from someone who lives in your neighborhood compared to a member of the opposite sex from another country.

Impotence Warning in Brazil

Impotence Warning in Brazil

The benefits extend past the obvious.  Hooking up removes a wall and opens a door.  Let the knowledge flood in.

There’s nothing like the insight gained laying side-by-side in a twin hostel bed on pilling sheets after sleeping with a Brazilian, hearing mumbled Portuguese/Spanish about how they haven’t felt so relaxed since they found their pet monkey after it escaped from their Copacabana balcony to a playground when they were twelve years old.

It sparked my interest.  A month later I found myself in that very part of Rio de Janeiro with an Israeli who taught me how to cook shakshuka and to let my “independent girl” guard down.

I spent a few hour-and-forty-five-minute blocks of time in “telos,” more or less sex hotels which are a cultural staple, with a Buenos Aires native.  I learned of idioms and local bands.  I took two-hour local buses to his suburban neighborhood – somewhere I would never visit had I not “known a guy.”

I’d rather hear of childhood memories and be shown around by a local than read the “culture” and “where to go” sections in the Lonely Planet guide book, and I think most people would concur.

Considering the experiences, the language, the stories and the cultural understanding that come with it, I think all who have done so have to agree that traveling wouldn’t be traveling without hooking up.
_
Emily Callaghan is currently writing a book on the topic of her former study abroad program vs. living in a foreign country and learning through foreign boys.  She writes a regular column for The Smart Set, and is the Editor of Table Matters.

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This post was written by:

Dave - who has written 960 posts on Go Backpacking.

Dave Lee (Editor-in-Chief) blogged his way around the world from 2007-2009. When not writing, he can be found salsa dancing, and lamenting his untimely departure from Medellin. Follow him on Twitter @rtwdave

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  • This reminds me of a friend of mine from London who used to talk about her "passport of love." You got a "stamp" for every nationality you made out with. I think she was trying to collect them all...
  • "Passport of love" has to be the cheesiest description yet! I've also heard it described as collecting flags, and there is a "club" for all 7 continents.
  • Does that mean you have to hook up with a penguin? or maybe just someone IN antarctica would do the trick...
  • How about someone on your Antarctica cruise ship. I think that'd count too.
  • Sounds like a dreadful reality TV show...Next week on 'Passport of Love!!' Interesting post. More pics, maybe a video? he he. Have fun!

    Blake / TBD
  • Hi Stephanie, I've never heard of "passport of love", but I call it Flagging. Hook up with a foreigner, you get their "flag". Only sovereign countries count though, no states...
  • Just to clarify *I* didn't invent the passport system. I think it's really just a way to "organize your flag collection."
  • Stephanie, if you can think of any other names for "flagging", post a comment on our forum.
    www.flaggingheadquarters.com/forum
  • I'm all for making "friends" but if you're in a hostel, at least be in a private room. Folks in the other 7 beds don't want to hear the language of your love conquest.
  • I agree, and I realized on my RTW trip that I was getting a bit old to be kicked out of bed to make way for lovebirds in the adjacent bunk. Unless I'm one of the love birds. Then somehow it matters less what other people think. :)
  • DDR
    passport of love - yeesh. no offense, but yeesh. Then again, when i was abroad in france, i used to have roomates who shared a google map amongst themselves and "tack" every country for the girls they made out with. But it was an exclusive, guys-only map. Long live 21st century and technologies!

    i've been couchsurfing a lot more than hostelling, and can imagine how unpleasant it would be if one has to make way for lovebirds. Like you said, Dave, also getting too old for this...but if its me, its like, meh!

    It is definitely a way to get to know people- thats how my own stay in brazil got so awesome fun during some weekends- but it does sometimes conflict with certain cultures (certainly my own asian values kick in sometimes and this article would definintely be on the edge of blasphemy if presented in certain places).
  • The old tack and map approach to plotting one's worldwide exploits!

    Thanks for stopping by Rita - hope to see you 'round these parts again soon.
  • I say, sign me up.
  • Haha, yeah getting to know the locals (or - the Sri Lankan beauty I met in Oktoberfest - not) is a great way to pass the time, and get stories, and continue on journeys - the whole reason I went to Sweden was because I met a girl in New York. Nothing happened in terms of "hooking up", but she should get a job with the Swedish tourist office, she was so welcoming!

    I did have a bit of a ban when travelling around South East Asia, largely due to the reputation and me being a stereotypical arse, but apart from that I'm pretty open in that aspect on travelling.

    Well....beggers can't be choosers, can they?
  • "ban when traveling around SE Asia?" How does that work!?
  • I didn't sleep with anyone.

    I missed a bunch of jabs, so I was running the risk which I wanted to minimize. So I kinda made myself undesirable
  • All I can say is amen sista! Couldn't agree with you more. :)

    My "hook ups" though have always led to longterm relationships...
  • ha, my mate had 40+ flags after running a backpacker bar in London. He wasn't impressed with just that though. As he put it when discussing flags, "mate, I've been to every state in America...twice!"
  • Hey Ben - that's a lot of flags!
  • your momma
    spemily callaghan, you are the woman that i have grown to love since 2006, and i will live vicariously through your sexual conquests as i am inexplicably tied down. GO GET EM TIGER
  • Ignatius
    Great article! She has a great point- traveling is about meeting new people, experiencing a difference culture, unique memories... What better way to learn Hebrew, Romanian, Indonesian, etc? It's refreshing to hear this from a woman's point of view. Just remember to reciprocate for visitors to your home country!
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